A lot of us are reluctant to ask for help.
There are a variety of reasons for this. We think it is a sign of weakness to not be able to handle something on our own. And, for some reason, we have been taught to believe that weakness is a terrible characteristic in a human being, even a temporary weakness.
We also avoid asking for help because doing so will probably cause us to lose a bit of control over a situation as our helper might partially take over. We hate to give up control.
And, lastly, we do not like to be in debt to others. Some day they might ask for our help in return.
So, we go it alone.
That sounds brave and it sounds unselfish – we don’t want to bother others with our troubles.
But what we so often forget is that by being so self-sufficient, we deprive others of the good feeling they could have had by having done something to help us.
A family member struggled this afternoon to get a new printer to scan documents. I was approached and asked if I might be able to think of any solutions. I worked on the problem for almost an hour. And I solved it.
To see the one who had asked for my help now scanning documents to her heart’s content made me feel really good about myself.
Helping is a two-way street and both the helper and the one who is helped benefit from the process.
The secret to it working well is to not impose our help on someone who either doesn’t want it or never asked for it. And that is where a lot of us could use a little help in understanding the lines that shouldn’t be crossed.
©2019 Jim Hagarty
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