(This version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town was written by my fellow Saturday jammer, Jack Herold, and his friend, Shirley Goettler.)
Santa is Retiring This Year
They passed a darned law,
At Yuletide,
You have to stop work at 65,
So Santa is retiring this year.
He tried to hang on
But what could he do?
Someone found out he’s 302.
Santa is retiring this year.
Chorus
The women’s groups were saying
That he should be a her.
Animal defenders said
His suit was trimmed in fur.
It’s not very fair,
It’s not at all right,
To fire an old guy
Cause his hair has turned white.
Santa is retiring this year
I guess that I’ll live
And I’ll be okay
Red’s not my colour anyway.
Santa is retiring this year.
Chorus
And they won’t give him a pension
It makes you want to cry.
They say he only works one day
So he doesn’t qualify
With all the cutbacks,
This is the last straw
They’re downsizing Santa Claus.
Santa is retiring this year
Chorus
There won’t be a replacement,
The country’s cupboard’s bare.
Our healthcare is in shambles,
There’s no funds for any care
And so from now on
It’s clear as can be
We’ll all have to sit on
Our prime minister’s knee.
Santa is retiring this year.
©2019 Jack Herold, Shirley Goettler
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