Pulling at the Crazy Old Heartstrings

I love country music, especially the sad songs. So, in other words, almost all of them. Some country musician, maybe Hank Williams, once said all you need for a good country song is three chords and a broken heart. I believe that to be true and I have compiled a list of my favourite lost love country songs, all of them real and guaranteed to bring a tear to your eye. Sorry for the few that are not politically correct.
If you are interested, here they are.

1. Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears
2. Did I Shave My Legs for This
3. Don’t Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You
4. Don’t Roll Those Bloodshot Eyes at Me
5. Going to Hell in Your Heavenly Arms
6. Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
7. He’s Got a Way With Women … and He’s Just Got Away With Mine
8. How Can I Get Over You if You Won’t Get Out from under Me
9. How Can I Miss You if You Won’t Go Away
10. How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I’ve Been a Liar All My Life
11. How Did You Get So Ugly Overnight
12. I Bought the Shoes That Just Walked Out on Me
13. I Don’t Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling
14. I Fell for Her, She Fell for Him, and He Fell for Me
15. I Flushed You from the Toilet of My Heart
16. I Gave Her My Heart and a Diamond and She Clubbed Me with a Spade
17. I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger
18. I Got Tears in My Ears from Lying on My Bed Crying on My Pillow over You
19. I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You
20. I Kissed Her on the Lips, and Left Her Behind for You
21. I Only Miss You on the Days that End in “Y”
22. I Sent Her Artificial Flowers for Her Artificial Love
23. I Spent My Last Ten Dollars on Birth Control and Beer
24. I Still Miss You Baby … But My Aim is Getting Better
25. I Want a Beer as Cold as My Ex-Wife’s Heart
26. I Wanted You to Leave Until You Left Me
27. I Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me
28. I Would Have Wrote You a Letter, But I Couldn’t Spell Yuck
29. I’d Rather Pass a Kidney Stone than Another Night with You
30. If Fingerprints Showed Up on Skin, Wonder Whose I’d Find on You
31. If I Can’t Be Number One in Your Life, Then Number Two on You
32. If I’d Killed You When I Wanted to, I’d be Out of Jail by Now
33. If I Were in Your Shoes, I’d Walk Right Back to Me
34. If the Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me
35. If You Don’t Leave Me, I’ll Find Someone Who Will
36. If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too
37. If You’re Gonna Do Him Wrong Again, You Might As Well Do Him Wrong Again with Me
38. If You Want to Keep the Beer Real Cold, Put it Next to My Ex-Wife’s Heart
39. I’m So Miserable Without You, it’s Almost Like Having You Here
40. I’ve Been Carrying a Torch for You So Long That it’s Burned a Great Big Hole in My Heart
41. I’ve Been Flushed from The Bathroom of Your Heart
42. Jesus Loves Me but He Can’t Stand You
43. Last Night I Went to Bed at 2 with a 10 and Woke this Morning at 10 with a 2
44. My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
45. My Lips Want to Stay (But My Heart Wants to Go)
46. My Wife Ran Off with My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him
47. She Made Toothpicks out of the Timber of My Heart
48. The Last Word in Lonesome is Me
49. Welcome to Dumpsville, Population Me
50. When You Wrapped My Lunch in a Road Map, I Knew You Meant Good-Bye
51. You Changed Your Name from Brown to Jones, and Mine from Brown to Blue
52. You Done Stomped on My Heart (and You Mashed That Sucker Flat)
53. You Were Only a Splinter as I Slid Down the Banister of Life
54. You’d think My Bed was a Bus Stop, the Way You Come and Go
55. You’re the Reason Our Kids are So Ugly
56. Get Your Tongue out of My Mouth, Because I’m Kissing You Goodbye.