Some men have two of various material things, even if it’s just a two-car garage. And to make sense of such a garage, those men probably have two cars. Some guys have two homes, though I’ve never met anyone who has, unless you count a winterized cottage as a second home. Some men have two jobs, two massive-screen TVs, two dogs, two horses, and on and on.
As for me, I specialize in having one of a number of things. I only have one formal suit of clothes, for example. One pair of dress shoes. One dog. One cat. One wife, one son, one daughter. One house.
However, I need to confess that I am the proud owner of two smartphones. I used to get by with just a basic old cellphone but one day I smartened up and got me a used smartphone off the Internet. A few years later, a relative gifted me with his used smartphone, one generation newer than mine, and suddenly, according to experts, I am twice as smart as I used to be. This was a state of being I thought I had already achieved through my sheer brilliance but having two smartphones, and using both of them every day, apparently sealed the deal. It has even been suggested that I might be twice as smart as most people who get by somehow with only one smartphone, but that is probably a debatable question.
I use my phones a lot to read the news and watch videos. Hence, I always have one charging so I am never having to wait on electricity to keep me going.
The only drawback is I can use only one of the handy devices to make actual phone calls and send text messages although the one I can’t use for those purposes gives me access to the Internet all day long so my Trump Horror Quota is always filled.
This was a bit of a disappointment at first when I tried placing a call to myself from one smartphone to the other but couldn’t get through. It was a letdown as I wanted to hear my views on the various issues of the day.
Whatever my opinions might have been, and opinions are something I also have more than one of, I am sure they would have all been very smart. I guess I could just smarten up and ask myself directly someday, maybe in a mirror.
That should be easy as I have two bathrooms and there’s a big mirror in both of them.
©2022 Jim Hagarty
