Here’s another thing that didn’t happen to you this week but did to me. I was witness to the worst case of lawn rage I’ve ever seen.
A guy speeding down my street yesterday went nuts when he saw that the road was blocked for construction but he didn’t let a little thing like a gigantic truck get in his way. Instead, barely even slowing down, he detoured up onto my lawn, drove on it the whole width of our double lot, past our two maple trees and out the other side to the street again.
He did this in spite of the fact that I was standing on my front lawn at the time and was just lucky to not have gotten a close look at the underside of his vehicle.
Apparently he was on his way to the 32nd annual National Genius Convention in Toronto.
The only thing that bothered me about this was I was supposed to catch a ride with him to the convention where I was to be the featured speaker but he must have forgotten to pick me up.
We geniuses are often thinking about more important things than ordinary folks think about such as not driving like maniacs across other people’s lawns. I briefly thought about hopping in my car and chasing The Lawn Ranger down but I didn’t have the heart to drive across my poor blades of grass that had suffered more than they deserved to.
©2014 Jim Hagarty
