I have a very simple mind, no matter that some people think I look brilliant. Well, nobody has actually told me that but I know they are thinking it.
I am not stupid, just simple. And when a person has a brain like that, one feature of this condition is he is very prone to be open to the power of suggestion. For example, if someone in charge of meal planning at our place announces we will have a pizza for supper, that thought consumes me for the next five hours. When things change, for some reason, and there is a beef stew on the table instead of the promised pizza, the disappointment is epic.
Once lodged in my brain, however, it is only a matter of time before I am finally and happily swallowing pizza. On the sly, I will admit.
“Going out to check the mail,” I declare.
“Okay,” is the response.
All this to tell you about an encounter I had last week. I arrived at the medical centre early for my appointment with my doctor. I climbed the two flights of stairs and, a bit winded, passed through the big doors to enter the offices of the doctors who have practices there.
A young woman was sitting at a table before me. She wanted to see my health card and then asked whether I had experienced any of the following conditions: fever; dry cough; tiredness; aches and pains; sore throat; diarrhea; conjunctivitis; headache; loss of taste or smell; a rash on my skin, or discolouration of my fingers or toes; difficulty breathing or shortness of breath; chest pain or pressure; loss of speech or movement.
I thought about all these abnormalities and then told her, “You’re describing a normal day for me.”
I think she laughed, but I couldn’t be sure because I suddenly felt feverish, suppressed a coughing fit, became overwhelmed with tiredness, was acutely aware of a number of aches and pains, and could feel a sore throat coming on as well as a headache. I also realized I had a sudden loss of taste and smell, as well as a rash on my skin, discoloured fingers, shortness of breath and some mild chest pain.
To say the least, I was startled by the sudden decline in my wellness. At least I escaped diarrhea (that would come later.) And I don’t even know what conjunctivitis is so we’ll toss that to the side.
“Well?” the very patient nurse said as she waited for my answers to each of her questions, which seemed to me to be more like suggestions than questions. I thought it best to say no to all of them and I did.
She must not have been a psychiatric nurse as she didn’t try to stop me on my way out after my appointment was over.
I can see now that making light of all these things in these times is sort of like joking about having a bomb at an airport.
My condition improved almost instantly as I left the building.
I always feel better on the way out of the medical centre than I do on the way in.
©2020 Jim Hagarty
