Warren Buffett and I have a lot in common. Males, fathers, eyeglass wearers. Balding. Speak English.
But our biggest shared characteristic is our incredible financial acumen. Our brains don’t operate in the same way others do. Ours are functioning on a whole, remarkable, elevated level. Don’t feel badly that yours doesn’t. Warren and I are special.
My evidence of the above truths, is this.
Today, I entered the McDonald’s drivethrough, wanting a cup of coffee. I told the woman who greeted me through the speaker that I had a card for a free one. I had collected seven little stickers from previous cups I had drank and attached them to this card. This entitled me to a free medium coffee. At the last minute, and in my enthusiasm, I asked her to include a carrot muffin. She said that would be $1.65.
Now here’s where the acumen kicked in.
“Really?” I said, unbelieving. “Just for the muffin?” The reason for my skepticism was that I have, in the past, paid just over $2 in total for a medium coffee and muffin at McDonald’s. Now I was being asked for $1.65 for the muffin alone, given my coffee would be free.
I had to think fast. Buffett and I are good at that. We make decisions quickly and change our minds slowly. The mark of most great men.
I slipped the free card out of sight and when I drove up to the window, I told the speaker woman there that I didn’t have the card after all. That I wanted to pay cash for my purchase.
“That will be $2.10,” she said, looking a little confused. (Maybe even a bit scared.)
Therefore – try to follow the logic – I acquired a carrot muffin for next to nothing.
When I got to the window, and was handed my food, I asked the woman there how much a medium coffee on its own would have cost.
“It would be $1.82, plus tax,” she replied.
I pulled off to the side, activated the calculator on my phone, and quickly came to this conclusion: By paying $2.06 cash for my purchase, I had received a muffin for four cents. Whereas, if I hadn’t thought quickly, I would have been charged $1.65 or, put in Hagarty-Buffet terms, 165 cents as opposed to four cents. This is the kind of inflation both of us insist on avoiding.
McDonalds wanted $1.65 for a carrot muffin. I paid four cents for mine. It’s all about beating the system.
The only flaw in my operation, and this is one I need to correct in future, is that if I had paid with my debit card instead of with cash, the cost would have been $2.09 instead of $2.10, but that is a downside of living in a country which doesn’t have pennies anymore.
I will admit, that it is that penny that signifies the central difference between Warren Buffett and me. He would have never made an error such as that. This explains why he has $60 billion and I have less than $60 billion. But, we both have some dollars, another similarity.
Also this difference: He steers his own car through McDonald’s drivethrough. Frequently. He doesn’t have a driver. He’s his own driver.
And that is the only other difference between us.
To close that gap, I am going to fire my driver tomorrow.
©2016 Jim Hagarty
