I have decided not to take my .357 Magnum Revolver to bed with me any more. For years, I have slept more peacefully knowing I could take action if and when (only a matter of time) my neighbour breaks into my house to try to steal my TV. He was over once and admired the 42-incher sitting in the corner of my living room and I knew in that moment that he would sneak into my place some night and take it.
I love that TV and can’t imagine life without it.
What has made me decide to keep my pistol in the fridge from now on instead is the news that an Illinois man accidentally shot himself while dreaming that his home was being broken into. On April 10, police arrived at the home of Mark M. Dicara, 62, and found him with a gunshot wound to the leg.
Dicara said he had a dream that someone was breaking into his home, retrieved his gun and shot at who he thought was the intruder, only to shoot himself, which caused him to wake from the dream.
The bullet went through Dicara’s leg and lodged itself into his bedding.
I wouldn’t want a bullet in my leg but I would pay holy hell if I ever shot up my bedding. And I won’t bore you with any details of some of the horrible dreams I have some nights but there is bound to be a firefight at 3 a.m. in my bedroom one of these times.
My neighbour can have my damn TV. I’m tired of worrying about it. In fact, I am going to call him tomorrow and help him move it to his place.
I might even lend him my revolver in the event some other neighbour starts cooking up plans to steal it from him.
Instead, I will spend my evenings watching the 19-inch flatscreen that sits on top of our filing cabinet.
Nobody, not even me, wants that piece of crap.
©2023 Jim Hagarty
