Last Christmas is long gone and we had a good one. Too many gifts, too much food, movie after movie, song after song. We never let that event slip by unnoticed.
And for me, the gifts seemingly never end, in spite of the months that have passed.
I came in the house last night to announce our backyard has been turned into a playground for skunks. Not being a fan of the smelly creatures, though some think of them as cute, I raced to the Internet to take a course at the University of Google as to how to chase away skunks. Suggestions were there aplenty.
But one in particular caught my eye. Skunks like darkness, so along with removing birdseed from the ground and dumping over the water sources, my next assault could only be lots and lots of light. So, I dashed about flicking on outside lights till the Blue Jays could have played a night game back there.
No dice. Skunks laughed at my efforts. Skunks laughing is a sound you don’t want to hear so I won’t describe it for you.
“If only I had a really strong flashlight I would shine it right in their faces,” I said. “They hate that.”
My wife left the discussion, ran downstairs and re-emerged with a Christmas present she forgot to give me. A heavy duty flashlight that could spot a tick on a black cat at 200 metres.
Joy unending. And the light worked. Skunks ran away faster than Blue Jays celebrating a win.
But my enthusiasm took a beating when I later realized that it took me talking about skunks to make my wife think of me. And her gift, of course.
However, on reflection, I realized it didn’t matter that she didn’t think of me until the discussion of skunks came up. As long as I was finally noticed, the hurt began to subside.
I’ve been madly seeking attention all my life, so if it took being associated with skunks to deliver some, I would be one ungrateful cad to raise a stink about it.
On to my next indignity!
©2024 Jim Hagarty
