Who Said I Have to Leave?

I just came from my latest checkup by my doctor and he was really pleased. Apparently, I am going to live forever. He didn’t exactly use those words but I am a very perceptive person, always have been, and I am sure that is what he meant to say.

I don’t mind the prospect of living forever – my family will be spared the funeral costs – but I can see my would-be heirs getting a little cranky when they can’t get their hands on Dad’s fortune. I feel badly for them but I will defer to my buddy Warren Buffett who says he wants his kids to have enough that they can do something, but not so much that they can do nothing.

At least by living forever, I will probably get a mention in any number of record books as the centuries go by and that has always been my dream. I want to be unforgettable and living forever will probably help that goal come about.

The other piece of good news, as if living forever wasn’t enough, is, by all estimations, I keep getting better looking each year.

Yay for me!

All those unfortunate young women who threw me overboard for some other more-promising adonis, must be weeping big tears now!

©2019 Jim Hagarty

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.