I just made $100,000 so go ahead and congratulate me. After reading that a 33-year-old singer/songwriter/idiot spent $100,000 on plastic surgery to make himself look like his idol Justin Bieber, I decided this was a goal I wanted to achieve too.
So. I grabbed a picture of Bieber, held it up to a mirror and took a look at his head and mine. He has two ears, so do I. Check. He has a nose, I have one too. Two eyes, a mouth, check and check. Chin, cheeks, eyebrows, forehead. So far, the similarities are striking.
He has more hair on his head than I do but he always wears a baseball cap and so do I. So, as far as I am concerned, we’re pretty much a match. Except maybe for that 44-year-age difference thing, but as far as I’m concerned, we’re close enough.
It also doesn’t hurt (or help) I suppose (insert big name drop here) that Justin Bieber and I were born in the same hospital in Canada, though many years apart. I have never met the talented musician though his class picture still hangs in a hall of a school my own kids attended. And he did trick or treat on my street a few years back though he and his party didn’t quite make it to our place. I did meet his dog once, however, though I don’t bear much resemblance to the little guy, my not having a tail, for starters, being a big disqualifier.
So, my $100,000 is staying in my interest-bearing account where it is earning me a handsome .00025 per cent. Turns out money can buy you happiness as I am happy that I am not the surgery-loving singer/songwriter/idiot described above.
©2013 Jim Hagarty
