I was in a church on Saturday and following a solemn ceremony, I badly needed to find a washroom. Fortunately, one appeared and in I gladly went.
I was carrying two things in my hand as I entered and looked for a place to put them down while I attended to business. But my instincts kicked in and told me that among the large number of guests at the solemn ceremony in the stately church were probably a dozen or more heartless thieves, one of whom would enter the washroom while I was busy and make off with my two items if I dared to set them down for a few minutes. Churches are known to attract absconders of every description so a man can never be too careful.
As a result of my caution, instead of setting my articles down, I decided to keep them in my hand during the proceedings. This proved to be a very unfortunate decision as one of the items slipped from my hand into the very porcelain receptacle before which I was then standing.
Now, the other type of people you might find in a church these days are those who swear loudly, at lungs-top levels, when a calamity such as the one described above occurs. And that person, having an array of at least fifty choice curse words to use in any situation, would only be able to think of two, and those two, again unfortunately, fit into the category of taking the Lord’s name in vain, which, as I recall, is a violation of one of the Ten Commandments.
So, there I was, in a church, where good behaviour is regularly encouraged, swearing my head off, using the name of the historical figure for whom the very church I was in was built and dedicated to. Not a proud moment, I will concede, but perhaps a human one.
Well, I comforted myself, at least there was no one else in the washroom at the time of the meltdown, but as I left, I could see that, indeed, there was another man present. Fortunately, he couldn’t see me, and I made a hasty exit.
My only hope is that he is not a foul-mouthed thief and that he said a quiet prayer for me as he attended to his business.
©2019 Jim Hagarty
