By Jim Hagarty
There is a “meme” that gets shared on Facebook too often. In fact, the first time it was posted, that was once too often.
It states: If I spoke to my parents the way some kids talk to their parents these days, I wouldn’t be around to share this.
Let’s put aside the idea that your parents missed a golden opportunity to improve the quality of a not-yet-invented Facebook by not taking you out, and concentrate on a vital part of this important message.
Were you aware, as you were growing up, according to your own post, that you were sharing a home with two potential murderers? Two people who were prepared to commit infanticide to avenge the crime of snarky talkback from one of their children? And to spend 25 years in prison for the satisfaction of having you shut up for good?
So Dad says, “Take out the garbage, Junior.” And you reply, “Suck it, old man.” This would have, according to your post, been enough to prompt Dad to take you out in the back yard and drown you headfirst in the rain barrel. And something tells me from your post that you think he would have been justified in doing that. You might have even been proud of him for showing some guts.
And maybe Mom could off your sister for telling the woman who gave her life, “Get off my back why don’t you, you loser.” Maybe she could plug in a hair dryer, turn it on and toss it into the tub while Sis is taking a bath.
Yes, those were quality parents you had there Junior, for sure.
But of course, that isn’t really what you meant, was it? What you meant to say was you were an angel when you were growing up so no triggers from you for your murder prone parents. And you also meant to say young people today are awful in comparison to you, and by extension, your generation.
Which begs this question from me: Do you actually know any young people? Have you ever actually heard the way young people talk to their parents today? I didn’t think so.
Here’s a bulletin from someone who has seen more than a few young people in action these past few years, as a college teacher and a dad of two kids whose friends hang around our place all the time: Today’s young people are better than their elders. Less bigoted. Less racist. Less violent. Less sexist. More respectful. More hard working. More wonderful in every way. I love being around them.
So, suck it, Junior. And I beg you. Please don’t sic your Dad on me. He scares me.
And change your damn meme. Try this: If I spoke to my parents the way some kids talk to their parents today, I would have been a lot better son.
