By Jim Hagarty
I wouldn’t say I’m a hard-nosed, law-and-order guy, but I have to tell you I am pretty impressed with the justice system in Mexico.
What attracts me most about it is the way it doesn’t discriminate – between rich and poor, black and white, male and female…
And even human and non-human.
That is why a donkey ended up doing time in southern Mexico for assault and battery.
I’m not making this up.
Police in the state of Chiapas say the animal was locked up at a local jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and other disturbances after it bit and kicked two men near a ranch. Officer Sinar Gomez said the donkey would remain behind bars until its owner agreed to pay the men’s medical bills.
The victims who ratted out the donkey say the animal bit Genaro Vazquez, 63, in the chest and then kicked 52-year-old Andres Hernandez as he tried to come to the rescue, fracturing his ankle. Police said it took a half-dozen men to control the enraged burro.
“All of a sudden, the animal was on top of us like it was rabid,” Hernandez is quoted in a news story as saying.
I can’t say for sure, but I am guessing Mexico does not have a big problem with out-of-control donkeys gone wild as a result of this get-tough, proactive policy. Throwing donkeys gone wild in the slammer sends a message to other donkeys that might be considering a life of crime and it shows the community that its police force has a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to donkey attacks, which I think would be very reassuring.
And it’s not only Mexican donkeys that are having a hard time escaping the long arm of the law. Chiapas police have thrown animals in the slammer before, including a bull that devoured corn crops and destroyed two wooden vending stands n 2008. And in 2006, a dog was locked up for 12 days after biting someone. His owners were fined $18.
My only concern, of course, is what jail does to these four-legged miscreants. Does the dog, for example, emerge from its incarceration humbled and wiser or does it become hardened by rubbing shoulders day after day with the criminal element. Does it get a tattoo with “Mom” on its back, does it start wearing a black eye patch for effect, does it start cursing in barkese?
I think, in the long run, however, that the risk of hardening these wayward animals is worth the increased safety and peace of mind for the public.
We could use such a system in Canada because we have so many animals who are running amok. Wild dogs and coyotes chasing cats and peeing on tires, nasty birds that splatter cars, cattle that escape their fields and get out on the roads.
I would also welcome the opportunity to turn in my cats for a tune-up now and then to stop them from chewing up books and papers, throwing up on the carpet, threatening the hamsters. Maybe we could start a “scared straight” program for cats.
We may not have rampaging donkeys in this country but that isn’t to say it couldn’t happen and if it does, we have Mexican police to thank for giving us a blueprint as to how to deal with the situation.
