Halfway Hillary

By Jim Hagarty

If I did half of what Hillary did
I know I’d be sittin’ in jail.
And I don’t think her hubby Bill
Would come by and put up my bail.

If I did half of what Hillary did
I’d be ninety before I walked free.
Cause I can’t get away with anything.
People line up to implicate me.

If I did half of what Hillary did
They’d throw my cell key away.
I’d have to hope for a pardon
Which would happen next Neverday.

If I did half of what Hillary did
And could choose what half I would do,
I’d do only the good stuff she’s done,
And leave the bad stuff for you.

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.