By Jim Hagarty
People have been gaining and losing weight since we emerged from the ocean or jungle, or wherever we came from.
It didn’t seem to be such a problem for our forebears. Maybe chasing a wildebeest for 14 miles to put lunch on the table (or flat rock) tended to keep the fat off.
But it’s been a long time since most people in developed countries have had to pop out for a bit of game hunting or starve to death, and so we find ourselves needing to invent ways to reduce the blubber.
Fortunately, there are lots of people who have studied the problem and who have endless suggestions as to how to achieve the perfect bod. I recently read a list of 31 ways to do this and am unusually impressed by the ingenuity of the experts who devised these methods. I share some of them with you here, in the hope that they help. I am considering incorporating them into my daily life.
As you are brushing your teeth, alternate standing on one leg. This will develop “core muscles” and help with balance, besides burning 10 calories. Although the article doesn’t mention it, I wonder if this same “stance” could be applied to other things many people do in a bathroom, including taking a shower. And why stop at brushing teeth, and other activities? Why not stand on one leg like a flamingo as often as you can remember to do so during your day-to-day routines. (Beware of wildebeests, however; they dine on flamingoes.)
Here’s a good one. At the desk chair in your office, pretend you’re going to sit down, but don’t. Let your butt come within a few inches of the seat, then stand back up again without using your hands on the armrests. Extend your arms in front of you for balance, and repeat this performance 15 to 20 times. You will lose 15 calories every time you do this and your co-workers will lose 10 cranking their necks around to watch you and holding their sides from laughing at you.
Use a cordless or long-corded phone and walk around while you talk – don’t sit. So, pace back and forth while you phone the pizza shop and don’t sit in an easy chair at the door waiting for the 40 pounds of dough and sauce to be delivered. Walk there to get it and walk back to the table. Simple, yet effective.
When you come up to a red light on your way home, don’t just sit there listening to the radio or gawking around. Squeeze your derriere (not any of your passengers’) 10 to 15 times. This will give you “buns of steel” and burn 10 calories at the same time. Keep an eye on your buns in days to come to make sure they don’t start rusting from the exposure to bathwater, etc., as steel don’t do so good when moist.
When you’re grocery shopping, don’t be a slouch. Dash up and down the aisles, swinging your arms wildly. This will have the effect of helping you lose 200 calories, even more if the store manager starts chasing you to try to prevent you from creating any more havoc in the establishment.
Now, here’s one of the best:
While you’re going through your mail, do “lunges.” I cite expert Vicki Zachanowich and known skinny minnie, executive director of the Manitoba Fitness Council, as reported in the Readers’Digest: Stand with your feet almost shoulder-width apart and take one full step forward, without moving your other foot. Bend your knees until the thigh of your stepping leg is parallel to the floor. Your front knee should not extend past your foot, Then switch legs. “You can do it while holding letters and reading,” says Vicki.
I hope you are doing it now as you read this column.
When commercials come on the TV, get up and jog on the spot. You can even do it as a family.
And at your kids’ soccer games, get up after every quarter and do four or five laps around the field or gym. This will cause absolutely no consternation among spectators and players. You might, however, get flagged by the ref.
I’ll admit I need to shed a few pounds and as enticing as all this sounds, to be honest, I’d rather go out and chase down a wiidebeast. The first one I see go by my window is in big trouble.
My God, I think I see one now out by the bird feeder.
Gotta go!
