By Jim Hagarty
I was born in the same hospital as Justin Bieber.
I had the good sense to time my arrival 43 years before his, giving me a headstart in the music business.
Turns out, I needed a headstart.
But he and I have a lot more in common than our origins and hometowns. We both play our guitars left handed. We both write songs. We both have recorded music. And we both have bank accounts with some money in them. And we are males and our first names start with the letter “J”.
Also, we are both incredibly good looking, and while he has merely maintained his Adonish features in that department in recent years, I am as astonishingly handsome as ever, getting Brad Pittier every day.
A few years ago, I decided my singing career needed a jumpstart. So I started looking around for a stage name. Something catchy. I always liked the name Justin, for some reason. And one day I saw a truck go by with the name “Bieber Construction” on its doors. I was kind of drawn to the name Bieber. It had a happy quality to it.
So I settled on the name Justin Bieber and decided to use it in all future publicity for my stalled career.
However, a friend got wind of my plans and told me there already was a Justin Bieber in the music business. Living under a rock, as I always have and prefer to, this was news to me and I was disappointed.
But not deterred.
I liked the way “Justin Bieber” rolled off the tongue. So my friend and I put our heads together and we soon came up with what I think is a workable alternative.
And so I have changed my stage name to Justa Geezer.
The name change has not yet had the impact on my musical fortunes I thought it might. On the other hand, at the age of 65, when I look out from the stage at my adoring fans, I notice an awful lot of geezers among them. Many of them probably born in the same hospital as Justin and I.
Some of them no doubt had the wisdom to arrive years before either one of us.
Justin might have his Beliebers but I have my Geezers.
There must be something in the air at that hospital for it to have produced so many of the world’s great ones.
Even if we are all southpaws.
