Home, Home on the Range

By Jim Hagarty
2016

Argument Between Grandmas Ends In Shootout At Texas Walmart

That was a headline in the Huffington Post this afternoon.

It could have been shortened to Shootout, Texas, Walmart – three words – and everyone would have understood.

But Grandmas?

Ah yes, these days when you think a thing could not possibly be true, a headline will soon prove you wrong. No fake news here. Two raging grannies got right at it in a Walmart parking lot in the Lone Star State.

A child custody swap between the two grandmothers led to the shootout in Dallas that left one woman wounded, authorities said. The two women met to transfer custody of their mutual grandchild around 5:30 p.m. Sunday. An ensuing argument turned violent, Dallas police said.

Janice Brown, 53, allegedly pulled out a gun and shot Carla Hawkins, 55, in her neck, leaving her with injuries that were not life-threatening, police said in a statement. An off-duty officer responded to the scene. Brown allegedly shot at the officer, and he returned fire.

No one was harmed during that exchange, police said.

Maybe no more bullets entered anyone else’s neck but I would argue there was one other person who might have been harmed during that exchange and that person would be the grandchild. Imagine that poor kid watching his or her grandmothers in a fight so violent that one granny shot the other and then shot at a cop. And if the fight began over a dispute about the grandchild, there’s a pile more weight that kid has to bear.

The worst thing the grannies in my small town in Canada do in the Walmart parking lot is take your parking space when you finally find one. Or they will lose control of their shopping cart and it will roll into the side of your car. But this is Canada so, of course, you feel guilty that you parked in the path of the runaway shopping cart and get out of your car to check to see if the granny in question is OK.

However, we are not all popsicles and angel food cake. I have met “related” grannies that were not too fussy on each other.

But home on the range, the worst you might hear now and then, though seldom, is a discouraging word.

And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.