By Jim Hagarty
2014
I will go out on a limb and venture to say that you did not do this yesterday. If I am wrong, let me know.
I was at our back fence when I saw our cat Mario lurking by the composter. A few minutes later, I saw him streaking madly for the garage. With a mouse in his mouth. We have two composters and they serve as high-rise mouse condos.
This meant only one thing. A half eaten rodent was soon to be deposited on the garage floor and I would be on my knees cleaning up blood and guts, a job I do not have a lot of good feelings for.
I took off running. I surprised myself and discovered that I am able to outrun a cat with a mouse in its mouth. I got to the back garage door and slammed it shut, then noticed the window was open too. I quickly closed it. Mario was left frustrated outside with his bounty which he was bringing to me as a gift. On this one occasion, I did look a gift cat in the mouth.
Now I will readily admit that I might have lost the race if I had had to run it with a 20-pound ground hog hanging from my teeth, but I won and that is all that matters.
It’s funny. I hobble down the street every day and tell the neighbours (who also run away), how much my hip hurts. My young neighbour brings over his tractor and cleans the snow out of my driveway all winter long because he is under the impression that I am about one or two stumbles away from a wheelchair, though I have no idea where he came up with that notion. However, my true Olympian spirit showed in my high-speed, mouse-deflecting sprint to the garage, and my bones were not a factor.
The score so far is Mario, 35, Jim, 1, but at least I’m on the board.
