By Jim Hagarty
2011
Years ago, a farmer in southern Ontario near where I live, made a series of very bad decisions one night. The first one was to leave a local hotel in a drunken state and start up his car for the ride home. His second foolish move was to try to outrun the police who attempted to pull him over. A high-speed chase ensued through the countryside. The farmer drove straight (well, maybe not so straight) home, in the lane and right up his barn bank. He jumped out of his car and following another very bad bright idea he had, he hauled open the gigantic wooden doors at the top of the bank and drove his car into the upstairs of his barn. He then closed the doors.
The perfect crime. The police, still in hot pursuit, would never find him.
In one final dumb decision for the ages, the farmer then climbed back into his car to move it ahead but tramped too hard on the gas and crashed right through another set of doors on the other side of the barn. The car went flying out the second storey of the barn and landed in a huge pile of cow manure in the barnyard.
I am not sure of the outcome of the whole sordid episode but I do know he was in deep shit.
