By Jim Hagarty
2015
Near the end of my life, as I am reviewing my credits and demerits and sizing up my chances of being admitted through the Pearly Gates, there is one deed I will thankfully not have to include on the list of sins I have committed. I am not sure how I avoided doing it. Maybe it was more luck than good management. But I never shot my mother during a wedding ceremony. And she was ever grateful to me for that.
But Cory Golightly of Kentucky is going to have to somehow explain to St. Peter just how and why he did that to his Mom recently. St. Peter might be inclined to give old Cory a break, however, because he is a detective with the McCracken County Sheriff’s Department. And a finer grouping of law enforcement personnel you would be hard pressed to find.
Cory went to the wedding wearing a gun in a holster under his suit jacket because a lot of hardened criminals can be found attending weddings these days and you never know when you just might need a good guy with a gun. But as Cory was adjusting his jacket, the gun fell out, went off and shot his Mother. So you see, when you get the details and if you can be honest in your interpretation of them, it wasn’t really Cory who shot Mom of Cory but the gun itself that did it.
Charges are being considered against the gun. As well they should be. You see, when the matter of gun control comes up, it is worthwhile remembering that it is called “gun control” and not “gun owner control”, because people don’t shoot people, guns do.
As for the bride and groom, at least their big day started off with a bang. And by the way, Mom Golightly is okay.
