By Jim Hagarty
2018
Now hang on. Jeff Bezos, the head of Amazon, makes more money in one minute than I do in a year. This is the headline. What I want to know is how the headline writer knows how much I make in a year. Or per minute, for that matter. I have had good minutes and bad minutes and I am sure none of my minutes have come close to Jeff Bezos’s minutes, but if we are going to compare money-making, I think the same metric should be used. Saying Jeff Bezos is 72 inches tall and I am only 6 feet tall makes him seem like a giant compared to me. Or worse, I am only 2 yards tall (kids, look it up). So comparing Jeff’s 72 to my 2 just doesn’t seem fair. But that is what the headline writer seems to be suggesting. So, in that one minute that I receive my pay, I have done pretty darned well. Not Bezos well, but Hagarty well. Forget the minute that went before that and the minute to follow. But the very minute I see all those riches appear magically in my account, I can feel very Jeff Bezosian about myself. The fact that three minutes later it is all gone (and more) to automatic withdrawals means not a thing to me. For one brief, shining moment, Jeff Bezos and I are both 6 feet tall (give or take an inch) and seeing eye to eye. Now that I look all this over, I realize not one word of it needed to be written, but too late, it’s done.
