By Jim Hagarty
2012
There is a popular song on the radio these days sung by a guy named Bruno who is frustrated that his girlfriend doesn’t share the deep feelings of love he has for her. The singer of the song passionately describes what he would do for this woman. Brace yourself.
The recording artist in question would catch a grenade for her, put his hand on a blade for her, jump in front of a train for her and even take a bullet through his brain for her. However, he’s concerned that she would not do these same things for him. In fact, he believes that if his body was on fire, she would just stand there and watch him burn.
I am not a professional counsellor but I wish I could spend a little time with this poor lad. First of all, I would advise him that after catching a grenade, cutting his hand on a blade, jumping in front of a train, shooting himself in the head and setting his body on fire, he might be somewhat of a mess and, not to take sides, but after all that, I would think any sensible woman might want to think about whether she would want to do these same things for this guy who would not be much of a prize by then.
So, in that respect, I think she’s probably showing some pretty good judgment where he appears to have no sense of balance whatsoever. Hence, she is quite clearly too good for him and is smart to move on and that’s what he should do too right after he receives some intensive treatment for these extreme sadomasochistic injuries he has caused himself.
If it was me, I’d choose no girlfriend at all over a grenade, a blade, a train, a bullet to the head and a body fire any day. Call me selfish if you want, but remember the principle that has guided me my whole life: I’d rather be a live chicken than a dead duck!
