My name is Jim. Actually, James. Things were kept simple in my day so my Dad’s name was Jim too. Just for fun, I have a middle name, Joseph. And a third, Catholic confirmation name, Patrick. So, if you are in a hurry, I am Jimmy Joe Pat.
But I was named in the boring old 1950s, before rock ‘n’ roll and strolls on the moon. Was I to be named today, who knows what my parents might have come up with?
In the United States, in 2017, name choices for babies were pretty wild. Some might say crazy. But at least no judge stepped in to stop any names that I am aware of. Years ago, somewhere in the southern United States, a judge forbid a couple, who were huge Disney fans, from naming their kid Zippidy Do. Their last name was Daub. So they named their baby Zip.
Here are some of the names that were bestowed on U.S. kids last year.
Tesla (130 girls, 11 boys); Fanta (24 girls); Beretta (21 girls); Maybelline (20 girls) Evian (10 boys). Sports minded parents named 12 girls and six boys Espn. The name Denim was given to 141 boys and 53 girls; five boys were named Suede.
Some spiritually minded parents chose: Halo (149 girls, 25 boys); Om (96 boys); Amen (75 boys, 55 girls); Calvary (16 girls, seven boys); Lucifer (24 boys); Getsemani (11 girls); Yogi (six boys). Yes, 24 boys will soon be walking around having people call them Lucifer. My guess is they will be little devils. What’s their nickname? Luke? Lucy?
Lets speed this up: Kaiser; Caesar; Pharaoh; Empress; Emperor; Heiress; Milady; General; Czarina; Czar; Duchess; Sirprince.
And if you are into nature: Koi; Lemon; Alp; Maize; Fennec.
Then there are the attitudes: Vanity; Envy; Brazen; Riot; Havoc; Shooter; Arson; Yoyo; Furious; Slayer.
And for history buffs: Cleopatra; Jezebel; JesseJames; Cuauhtemoc; Attila; Stalin; Casanova; Charlemagne; Capone; Godiva; Osama; Adolph.
Mythology: Eros; Ra; Beowulf; Isis.
Enough with the plain names. Let’s get a little crazy. Last year, 21 boys were named I-am, 19 girls were named Nil, 28 boys were called Boy; six boys were called Son; 19 girls were legally named Girl; eight boys were named Babyboy; seven girls were called Babygirl; 18 boys were named Mister; 16 girls were called Paw, 13 girls were called Man, 11 girls were named My, nine boys were called Papa, eight boys were named God, seven girls and six boys were named Moo, six girls were called Abcde, and six girls were named Any.
Okay, I’ll just vomit up the rest of the names that were given to 410 boys and girls in the U.S. in 2017: Artreyu; Nubia; Jetson; Savvy; Mazikeen; Zorawar; Aerabella; Porfirio; Candelaria; Bereket; Calcifer; Solaris; Eureka; and Aesop.
This is Jimmy Joe Pat, gratefully signing off.
©2018 Jim Hagarty
